miletwo::network

It’s been a while since I’ve posted. In addition to being a newly appointed elder at Grace I’m also working, doing miscellaneous freelance jobs, sitting on the board for miletwo::church and helping to launch the 9Feet project. I hope to get another GO:update out soon as well as a web site for the series launched by end of summer. This post could not wait though.

It’s starting to weigh on me… the destruction of marriages and families all around me. No one seems to be immune to this cancer that so pervades our society and even, perhaps especially the Church. I look at friends I’ve had over the years and so many of them have become part of this statistic, trading what’s real and valuable for a fantasy. I’ve been contemplating what makes a man or woman choose the lie, especially as we encourage each other on the elder board to continue to be on guard for our families and the church against the lies of the enemy that the grass might be so much greener someplace else.

A pastor friend handed me an article by Randy Alcorn called: Deterring Immorality by Counting Its Cost. Here he lays out a list of what’s so  important in his life… reminds me of the Princess Bride where the crazy wizard max askes the only “mostly dead” Wesley, “Hey! Hello in there! Hey! What’s so important? Whatcha got here, that’s worth living for?” Of  course… everybody knows Wesley’s response… “truuueeee looooveee….” Now, isn’t that something worth living for? Something worth fighting for?

Here’s are a few from Randy’s list… I invite you to read through this and the article on his web site and consider “What do I stand to lose?”

I’ve inserted my wife’s name here… you do the same.

• Having to one day look Jesus in the face at the judgment seat and give an account of why I did it.
• Forcing God to discipline me in various ways.
• Grieving my Lord; displeasing the One whose opinion most matters.
• Dragging into the mud Christ’s sacred reputation.
• Loss of reward and commendation from God.
• Suffering of innocent people around me who would get hit by my shrapnel (my kids… my family).
• Untold hurt to Michele, my best friend and loyal wife.
• Loss of Michele’s respect and trust.
• Hurt to and loss of credibility with my beloved sons, Josh and Nick. (“Why listen to a man who betrayed Mom and us?”)
• If my blindness should continue or my family be unable to forgive, I could lose my wife and my children forever.
• Shame to my family. (“Why isn’t Daddy an elder anymore?”; the cruel comments of others who would invariably find out.)
• Shame to my church family.
• Shame and hurt to my fellow pastors and elders who believed in me: Jay, Joby, Dennis, Doug, Gerry, Bill, Tim, James, also others I look up to… Scott, Steve…
• Shame and hurt to my friends, and especially those I’ve either led to Christ or spoken of Him to. : Miguel, Doug, Rob, Cody…
• Guilt awfully hard to shake—even though God would forgive me, would I forgive myself?
• Plaguing memories and flashbacks that could taint future intimacy with my wife.
• Disqualifying myself after having preached to others.
• Surrender of the things I am called to and love to do—teach and preach and write and minister to others. Forfeiting forever certain opportunities to serve God. Years of training and experience in ministry wasted for a long period of time, maybe permanently.
• Being haunted by my sin as I look in the eyes of others, and having it all dredged up again wherever I go and whatever I do.
• Undermining the hard work and prayers of others by saying to our community “this is a hypocrite—who can take seriously anything he and his church have said and done?”
• Laughter, rejoicing and blasphemous smugness by those who disrespect God and the church (2 Samuel 12:14).
• Bringing great pleasure to Satan, the Enemy of God.
• Heaping judgment and endless problems on the person I would have committed adultery with.
• Possible diseases: gonorrhea, syphilis, chlamydia, herpes, and AIDS (pain, constant reminder to me and my wife, possible infection of Michele, or in the case of AIDS, even causing her death, as well as mine.)
• Possible pregnancy, with its personal and financial implications, including a lifelong reminder of sin to me and my family.
• Loss of self-respect, discrediting my own name, and invoking shame and lifelong embarrassment upon myself.

That’s a pretty sobering walk through just a small taste of the possible impact that chasing fantasy can have on me and on those around me. I’m sure if I thought about it more I could continue to add to this list.

I urge you, especially you men… STOP BEING COWARDS! Stand UP for your family, for your children. Print this list… refer to it often… and be a man who fights.

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